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JOKES ABOUT MEN

 

Men's English

 LEARN MEN'S ENGLISH


I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired


Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you


May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress! = Nice tits!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now

I Love you, too = Okay, I said it ... We'd better have sex now!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = Okay, I said it ... We'd better have sex now!

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

 (While shopping):
 I like that one better = Pick any bloody dress and let's go home and have sex

SENT BY STEPHANIE CALILLAS E OF MOORPARK, CA

 

How To Talk About Men and Still Be Politically Correct

HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN AND STILL BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 

He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He investigates ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. 

He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has an INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENT.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

SENT BY: MICHAEL RODRIGUEZ OF CHICAGO, IL

 

 

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